The CBT Cycle Revisited

To explain this, I’d like to quickly review the CBT cycle (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). In this cycle, how you think impacts how you feel, how you feel impacts how you behave, and how you behave impacts how you think. Additionally, your “feelings” have physical and emotional components. Your physical feelings affect your emotional feelings, as well as your thoughts and behaviors. Similarly, your emotional state impacts you physically and also impacts your thoughts and behaviors. It’s all interconnected.

Real-World Examples

Consider this scenario: You've just given a big presentation at work, and you think it went badly. Your thoughts spiral into believing you screwed up and that people are judging you. You worry about missing out on a promotion or even getting fired. While these thoughts race through your mind, they're generating anxious chemicals in your body – that's the physical piece. Emotionally, you're feeling anxious.

Your behavior might manifest in different ways:

- Working excessively and putting in longer hours, which leads to exhaustion and more stress

- Hiding under your covers, calling in sick and avoiding your boss to dodge negative feedback. This increases your anxiety when you actually return to work

- Blaming a coworker, which creates problems for you long-term

Or take another example: Someone breaks up with you. Even if you saw it coming and weren't completely invested in the relationship, you might still struggle with being alone. Thoughts like "I'm worthless" or "I'll never find a partner" can lead to depression. As depression sets in, self-blame worsens. You might ruminate about past mistakes or catastrophize about the future, creating a spiral where thoughts feed into body sensations, emotions, and behaviors.

Breaking the Cycle

The cycle can begin anywhere – with thoughts, physical sensations, or emotions. For instance, a physical pain might trigger thoughts about having something wrong with you, leading to anxiety as you research symptoms online. The cycle continues until you actively intervene.

CBT's foundation is that to create change, you need to adjust either your thinking or your behavior. It's challenging to directly change how you feel. In my 20 years as a therapist, countless clients have expressed wanting to change their feelings. But feelings are very difficult to shift unless we modify our thoughts or behaviors.

For example, with the work presentation scenario, recognizing catastrophizing helps you see that jumping from "bad presentation" to "I'm getting fired" is a distorted thought pattern. This recognition allows you to bring yourself back to the present moment and choose more helpful behaviors like deep breathing or going for a walk.

Similarly, with the breakup example, identifying catastrophizing ("I'll be alone forever") and self-blame as cognitive distortions helps you see these thoughts aren't facts. This awareness lets you choose more constructive behaviors like calling a friend or engaging in activities you enjoy.

Building the Skill

While this process isn't always simple and requires practice (sometimes with guidance), it's a powerful tool for managing emotions. We often get stuck in patterns of self-recrimination and negative thinking that cycle with our emotions, but rewiring these patterns is possible.

If you're interested in learning more about changing your brain's neurobiology through different thinking and behavior patterns, check out my free webinar "Rewire Your Brain for Joy and Confidence."

I'd love to hear your thoughts on using cognitive distortions for emotional regulation. How has identifying cognitive distortions helped you manage your emotions? Share your experiences in the comments below.