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The Freeze Response
Barbara Heffernan • February 4, 2025
Why We Freeze and What You Can Do About It
Why We Freeze in Stressful Situations (And Why It's Not Your Fault)
Have you ever felt completely paralyzed in a stressful situation, unable to think clearly or even move? Does your mind sometimes shut down, perhaps when you need it th e most? Whether this happens occasionally or is your regular stress response, you're experiencing what's known as the freeze mode - one of our basic survival instincts. Let's explore what the freeze response is, how it can be both helpful and problematic, and most importantly, how to manage it.
The Brain's Survival Mechanism
Our brains are wired to keep us safe, and the amygdala plays a key role in controlling the fight, flight, or freeze response. The amygdala is one of the oldest parts of our brain in evolutionary terms - even reptiles have a similar mechanism. The amygdala is designed to rapidly shift us into survival mode when needed, with freeze being one of these survival responses.
Most mammals follow a hierarchy of responses to threat. Their first choice is typically flight - to run away from danger. If fleeing isn't possible, they'll fight. When neither flight nor fight is possible, they freeze. The freeze response occurs in the face of the most overwhelming danger, and in truly extreme situations, it can sometimes be lifesaving.
When Freeze Becomes Problematic
The problem is that the freeze response gets triggered by situations that are not life threatening. These could be everyday situations, memories, or sensory information (sights, smells, sounds).
In these situations, we are not in extreme danger, and freezing can be very problematic, preventing us from engaging our frontal lobe, which is necessary for planning and problem-solving.
However, it's important not to blame yourself for this response, and I think you’ll understand why by the end of this blog.
Consider a mouse being chased by a cat. The mouse will first try to flee - it won't turn to fight as it has no chance against the cat. But if the mouse gets trapped in a corner with no escape route, it will go into freeze mode. This response protects the mouse in two ways: by playing dead (which might cause the cat to lose interest) and by releasing internal opiates that numb the mouse to what's happening.
(So I know sometimes just reading this example can feel very upsetting. If you have a regular freeze response, it is likely that you had situations in the past where you were in that type of situation: danger and unable to flee or fight.
Understanding Your Stress Response Pattern
While all three survival responses - fight, flight, and freeze - can be helpful when needed, most people develop a primary automatic response to stress. Some people are fighters, some are fleers, and some are freezers. Knowing your main stress response pattern is crucial for learning how to modulate it.
These responses are meant to be triggered when there's immediate danger, not for most current day situations.
Most stressful situations in day-to-day life require that we engage our frontal lobe, our planning brain, to fix problems. And the frontal lobe can get totally shut down by the amygdala (this is called the Amygdala Hijack, and I just recorded a video on that phenomenon!).
For those who regularly experience the freeze response, there's often a connection to Complex PTSD.
In my 20 years as an anxiety and trauma specialist, I observed that it was not only violent childhoods that could trigger the freeze response, but also neglectful environments.
If there's neglect, if the caregiver pulls away and is not there, it's a threat to that child's survival and also a threat to that child's identity. Our identity develops in relationship.
Either violence or neglect can cause a freeze response in children, and this might be an "adaptive" choice. In fact, it might be the best choice at the time. I really want to stress that children who freeze very often have to freeze.
Either violence or neglect can cause a freeze response in children, and this might be an "adaptive" choice. In fact, it might be the best choice at the time. I really want to stress that children who freeze very often have to freeze.
Unfortunately, this pattern can become ingrained as our automatic reaction later in life.
Common Symptoms of the Freeze Response
Recognizing the symptoms of the freeze response is helpful. You may not have all of these, and it is likely that one or two are predominent.
Recognizing the symptoms of the freeze response is helpful. You may not have all of these, and it is likely that one or two are predominent.
- Mind Going Blank: A total shutdown of thought, making it difficult to recall information, even in situations where you know what to say.
- Numbness and Detachment: Feeling numb, detached, or dissociated from the situation.
- Overwhelm: Feeling so overwhelmed that you shut down and do nothing.
- Excessive Daydreaming: A sign of dissociation that can be a chronic symptom of the freeze response.
- Physical Symptoms: Tonic immobility (inability to move limbs), muscle heaviness, and feeling numb.
- Fawning Behaviors: Ignoring personal needs to please others.
Okay, so what do you do about this?
How do you move to a place where your go-to response is no longer freezing?
You can do it!
I'm going to give you three steps that are really kind of the groundwork, and then I'm going to give you a couple of tools that can begin to help. A
You can do it!
I'm going to give you three steps that are really kind of the groundwork, and then I'm going to give you a couple of tools that can begin to help. A
How to Stop the Freeze Response
It is possible to shift away from the freeze response as your go-to reaction. Here are three foundational steps and some practical tools.
Three Groundwork Steps:
#1 Ensure External Safety:
Make sure your external environment is relatively safe. If you are in an unsafe situation, reach out to resources like 211 to find help and crisis counseling to get you to safety. (211 is an anonymous hotline where they will provide resources to help). If you are living in an extremely unsafe environment, it will be very hard to shift how your very amygdala is responding. In fact, as we discussed, the freeze response might make the most sense in a dangerous situation.
Make sure your external environment is relatively safe. If you are in an unsafe situation, reach out to resources like 211 to find help and crisis counseling to get you to safety. (211 is an anonymous hotline where they will provide resources to help). If you are living in an extremely unsafe environment, it will be very hard to shift how your very amygdala is responding. In fact, as we discussed, the freeze response might make the most sense in a dangerous situation.
#2 Create an Internal Sense of Being Safe Enough:
Even in a physically safe environment, many people struggle to feel internally safe. You can work towards an internal feeling of safety with the tools described below. (I also have a three week "mini-course" on YouTube for free. I will link it here).
Even in a physically safe environment, many people struggle to feel internally safe. You can work towards an internal feeling of safety with the tools described below. (I also have a three week "mini-course" on YouTube for free. I will link it here).
#3 Recognize Freeze as an Anxiety Response:
Understand that the freeze response, though it may feel like numbness, is an extreme form of anxiety. Recognizing it as such can help you use anxiety management tools.
Understand that the freeze response, though it may feel like numbness, is an extreme form of anxiety. Recognizing it as such can help you use anxiety management tools.
Now, just briefly on anxiety. Cognitive anxiety is worrying about something that is in the future, usually something that you can do nothing about. One problem with the freeze response is that the freeze response gets triggered - boom! - by the amygdala. It hits you prior to conscious thought. Because of this, it may not feel like it is tied to anxiety. But the more you begin to use some anxiety reduction tools, the more you'll be able to separate from this automatic response.
Identifying the freeze as anxiety helps you understand that your brain is trying to protect you from a threat that is not in front of you. So the protection is actually not needed.
Tools for Managing the Freeze Response
Grounding Exercises: Grounding exercises shift your focus from your mind to your body. Because the freeze response is body-based, movement can be helpful.
o Activating Movements: Engage in activities that mobilize your body, like throwing a ball or pillow, jumping jacks, or stomping your feet. These can be more effective than calming exercises for people in a freeze state.
o Focusing on Senses: Pay close attention to your five senses – sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch, in order to stay present in the moment.
o Aromatherapy: Use a pleasant scent to focus on the present.
o Example: Bring your attention to your feet on the floor, noticing what they feel like. If you feel triggered, stomp your feet to connect with the present moment.
Mindfulness Exercises: Practice being present in everyday activities.
o Mindful Walks: Pay attention to your surroundings during a walk.
o Daily Activities: Engage in daily activities like washing dishes by focusing on your senses (the warmth of the water, the scent of the soap).
o Diaphragmatic Breathing: Use slow, deep breaths to calm your body. Practice it first when you’re not triggered, and then in increasingly more stressful situations. It’s recommended to start with grounding exercises if breathing exercises don't feel good.
o Safe Place Exercise: Visualize a safe place and focus on the sensations you would feel there. This can help you create an internal sense of safety.
Therapy: Working with a qualified therapist can be invaluable. EMDR therapy has shown particular effectiveness for people with PTSD and high anxiety who experience freezing. You can also look for therapists with a somatic focus who can provide the support, encouragement, and validation you might have missed in your early years.
Building New Patterns
Remember that these techniques need to be practiced regularly when you're not triggered or stressed. Practice a few times daily to build muscle memory for grounding and mindful presence. Over time, these new patterns can help you overcome the freeze response and develop more adaptive stress reactions.
The journey to managing the freeze response takes time and patience, but with consistent practice and the right support, you can develop new ways of responding to stress that will serve you better in your current life.
Blog Author: Barbara Heffernan, LCSW, MBA. Barbara is a licensed psychotherapist and specialist in anxiety, trauma, and healthy boundaries. She had a private practice in Connecticut for twenty years before starting her popular YouTube channel designed to help people around the world live a more joyful life. Barbara has a BA from Yale University, an MBA from Columbia University and an MSW from SCSU. More info on Barbara can be found on her bio page.
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